What I Learned From Ditching My Plans
FM (Friday Morning) Reflection #18
I remember one time when I received unexpected feedback from my manager. He started the conversation by remarking on my resilience. He was impressed by my ability to overcome adversity, both in my personal life and in the face of internal challenges at work. He described me as water, flowing around obstacles and continuing on my path.
No one at work had ever shared that observation before, and the comment resonated deeply. Now I often think about it when I start to anticipate that things won't go as planned. My natural inclination in those moments is to dig in—focus on the process and puzzle through the challenges—to steer the outcome. But experience has taught me that sometimes, despite my best efforts, things simply can’t come together the way I thought. It turns out that time is a constraint that won’t bend easily.
Earlier in my career, I would have tried to fight it, working harder and pushing through, but I've realized there's often a high cost to that. While persistence is something I consider to be an essential trait, there are times when yielding is the wiser choice—a form of preservation for the greater good.
Constantly struggling against the impossible can lead to burnout, extinguishing the joy of work and the passion for making an impact. For me, the ability to affect change, drive transformation, and make the world a little bit better every day is a huge part of what motivates me.
Yielding is not about giving up. It's about recognizing that it's time to adapt because things aren't going to turn out well on the current course and speed…which leads me to a change of plan for this FM (Friday Morning) Reflection.
Grand Plans
I had grand plans for this week. I was excited to write Part Two of the Reflection that I started last week, Seeing Without Thinking: The Built-In Visual Cues Your Brain Already Knows.
But I sensed the challenge ahead soon after I hit the publish button last Friday morning. I was halfway through production of a new podcast episode, On Reflection... How to Embrace Questions and Navigate Uncertainty, and was excited to get that out to you. I also anticipated that Part Two of Seeing Without Thinking would require a significant amount of effort. And... I also knew that this week would be a whirlwind of travel, commitments, and connections.
I could see the crunch coming and I had a decision to make: Finish up the next On Reflection… or continue with Part Two? Ugh! The relentless optimist in me wanted to believe, "Maybe I can make it work!" so I held onto that notion for a few days, looking for an opportunity to open up to make it possible.
But around midnight on Wednesday, tucked into bed after a long day and dinner event, I admitted to myself that it just wasn't going to be possible.
So, what to do? I decided it was more important to keep the commitment to show up here—to be vulnerable and share with you—than to follow the agenda I had mapped out in my mind. I accepted that I can finish Part Two in the next cycle.
And it wasn't until that moment that I realized there's an important lesson here, one I need to remind myself of: It’s essential to know when it's time to yield, the value of trade-offs, to understand the big picture priorities, and to make the best decision to balance these.
And that’s how I came to write and share this reflection with you. Lying in bed at midnight on Wednesday, I opened up Voice Memos on my phone and dictated the first draft of this post.
Decisions, Decisions
These are the kinds of judgments we make every day, some easier than others. But for me, as someone who tends towards perfectionism, I've learned that there's wisdom in the saying, "Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good."
I get up around 5:30 A.M. most Friday mornings to write, edit, and publish this column. It's my commitment to you and this journey we are on. Throughout the week, I'm often thinking about what I want to write about, making notes, drafting, and selecting a Photo Bonus, but the process of writing this column is just as important as the product.
Following through on Friday morning—by getting myself out of bed to write, edit, and deliver this column to you in a real and tangible way every week—is how I hold up my side of this bargain.
We ask people to be flexible for us all the time. Sometimes we need to be flexible with ourselves. When we keep our eyes on the prize, adapt to change, and are flexible, we sometimes discover that our willingness to adapt leads to another insight.
The goal of this Substack is to be here with you, to continue our journey to Do Good by Doing Better—and that's why I made the choice that I did for this week. I feel confident in saying it's the right one, and I'm glad to share the insight that came from realizing that I needed to make a change of plan. It's an insight worth talking about as we enter the coming weeks, especially with the holidays coming up and all the pressure that's around us to perform.
Really, it's about doing our best, honoring the intention, trying to figure out what's possible, and, as I often say, taking small steps. Thinking big, starting, or in this case continuing, perhaps smaller than I wanted, but taking one concrete step. Acting now and continuing forward.
And then (you know it's coming) measure the results—whether you like this, respond, subscribe, unsubscribe, comment, or share your own ideas. Whatever happens, we'll learn something.
On Resilience…
To bring it full circle on resilience: Every day I'm making decisions about prioritizing what's important, about having the big picture in mind, while making many small choices every day. That, I think, is how I practice resilience.
It's not something I try to achieve. Having resilience is not the goal.
Resilience emerges from how I approach life with purpose.
Resilience is a means to an end because I have a clear view of where I want to go, what I'm trying to do, and choosing what's most important. It makes those choices easy, even if they're not always the ones I would want to make.
That's what I'm reflecting on this week. Thanks for choosing to spend a few minutes of your day here. I hope you have a great weekend!
[Note: The next FM (Friday Morning) Reflection will be published on Friday, December 6, so that I can enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday with family and friends. See you then!]
Photo Bonus
Nature shows us the many ways in which yielding in adaptation to new circumstances is a winning strategy for survival. As a product of that process, the form and shading of these lovely flowers caught my attention on a visit to Longwood Gardens near Philadelphia, and I love how the photo turned out. Shot with my MiNT SLR670-X (a modified Polaroid SX-70) on Polaroid 600 Black and White Film.